My Pet!

Cattiness is something no one ever wants to be accused of doing. But the reality is, at one time or another you’ve probably engaged in it, and most likely, you’ll do it again. This trait can include any number of unfortunate behaviors from not saying what we really intend to say, to saying things in a harsh tone of voice. It also includes gossiping, cynical remarks, and on a grander scale, outright rudeness. Cattiness can stand in the way of marketing your business since what you say and how you say it is critical in building rapport with potential clients and customers. Think about how you come across to the people you interact with on a daily basis. Check in with your attitude and behavior to make sure you are coming from your best place at all times.

1. Always tell the truth. Your word is one of the strongest tools for building outstanding relationships with your clients and customers. It starts from the first moment that you decide to open your business and it carries forward throughout the years. Telling the truth not only about who you are, but also about your products and services, is essential to building a strong foundation for a successful business. It is through honesty that you build confidence and trust in the hearts and minds of those who do business with you. These are the qualities that help to maintain your current clients and which lead them to make referrals to you. It takes only a moment of dishonesty to destroy your reputation and credibility. Rise above the crowd - tell the truth, always, and you’ll have your customers telling everyone about you!

2. Come from a place of integrity. One of the best ways to rise above catty behavior is to make integrity your central “come from” place when you deal with others. Integrity is about core honesty. When you come from a place of being fully integrated in your thoughts and actions, you are operating from a place of integrity. This gives others a sense of confidence in you - that you are predictable and consistent. After all, people like to do business with those who they know, like, and trust. By coming from a place of integrity you’ll be just that person.

3. Have empathy for others. Individuals who have empathy don’t have a place in their hearts to be mean-spirited towards others. They understand that life holds challenges enough for all and that they have no right to add to another person’s burden. To have empathy for others, we must have it for ourselves. For those who have not learned that important life lesson, they can only give away what they have inside of themselves. For those who have empathy, there is no place for catty behavior to enter the picture. They interact with others only from a place of love and understanding.

4. Let go of the need for power. Catty behavior typically manifests when someone needs to come from a place of power. In order to feel complete, a catty person must make others feel incomplete. Rather than coming from a place of competition with others, try coming from a place of cooperation. Appreciate the gifts and talents that others have to offer. Recognize that there is plenty for all and that there is no winner or loser. Instead, everyone can be a winner. One is powerful because it is a chosen state of mind, not something gained at the expense of others.

5. Let go of the need for control. Some people engage in catty behavior when they possess a strong need for control, a behavior deeply rooted in fear. Closely aligned with the need for power, these folks want to manipulate the thoughts and actions of others for their personal gain. And, this is done by saying and doing things to intimidate or coerce. Letting go of the need for control will actually allow you to enjoy life by decreasing stress levels. The reality is that nothing can be controlled in life except for one’s response to it.

6. Stop gossiping. “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Unknown) Gossiping is one of the most catty of behaviors. Not only is it destructive to others but it is also a complete waste of one’s own lifetime. You might think you’re not gossiping because you only say great things about others. The truth is that anytime you are discussing someone other than yourself, whether good news or bad, you are engaging in gossip. Why not engage in discussions about great ideas, instead? Life is made of only one thing - time. Be careful how you spend it.

7. Elevate others. One of the ways to rise above catty behavior is to hold others in the highest regard. By adopting a mindset of respecting everyone, you are showing respect for yourself as well. Want more for others than you want for yourself. Come from a place of providing service to others. Strange as it may seem, this attitude will bring more benefits to you than you could possibly imagine.

8. Re-language your life. Those who refuse to engage in catty behavior watch the thoughts they think and the words they utter. Studies have shown that negative words actually emanate a lower energy than positive words. Nasty, negative, or mean-spirited words or thoughts have no place in the heads and hearts of the highly evolved. Engage in cooperative, kind, friendly interactions that build up others and benefit all. Watch the thoughts you think and the words you utter. These things speak volumes about who you are and how others perceive you.

9. Stop competing. Catty behavior often comes shining through when one adopts a mindset of competition. Competitive people think there must always be a winner and a loser. Even a simple conversation can be converted into a competition about who knows more or who is better. Competition, nowadays, is often seen as childish and immature. Highly evolved people choose to come from a place of cooperation. They are confident in their beliefs, yet can understand and empathize with others who might disagree.

10. Own your own stuff. Catty people do not take responsibility for their life outcomes. Much of their unfortunate behavior towards others is the manifestation of anger, internal resentment and low self-esteem. The ill will they feel inside is often unleashed upon unknowing others in the form of negative comments, cynicism, and rudeness. People who rise above catty behavior own their own stuff. They take personal responsibility for their actions and understand that everyone (including themselves) is impacted by what they think, say, and do.

© Copyright 2004 by Alicia Smith

Alicia Smith is a Coach and Trainer whose specialty is helping coaches to Make Money Now. This article is derived from just one of the 90 lessons contained in her e-course, 90-Day Marketing Marathon. To learn more about that course and her other products and services, please visit the following sites. (You also can email her at alicia@aliciasmith.com.)

http://www.90DayMarketingMarathon.com
http://www.discninja.com
http://www.InternetAssessments.com

Tags: behaviors, business, Cattiness, e, elevate others, remarks, rudeness, stop competing, stop gossipingbehaviors, business, Cattiness, e, elevate others, remarks, rudeness, stop competing, stop gossiping

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Joint ventures can turn your competition into your companion!

What are they and are they profitable?

You can benefit greatly from sharing the costs of your advertising and promotional campaigns, while doubling the size of your target market.

How can that be so? It’s simple! just look at it like this, you are in the coffee business, you have identified your major competitor, he/she is currently servicing a good portion of the customers you wish to attract. This competitor has been servicing these clients for many years and has built up a strong following. Do you think it would be easy for you to “take these clients away” from their trusted provider? Of course not.

What if you offered to give your competitor free access to your client base? Do you think he/she would like that? Or if your competitor offered to do the same for you, would you like that?
YES, YES, YES!

A joint venture is simply offering to promote your fellow business persons product or service to your client base and in return they do the same for you.

You can use tracking URLs to determine what sales are made and then split the profits or commissions in whatever way you both agree to.

Another advantage is that if you sell to one of your fellow business persons clients you will be able to add them to your mailing list. We all know how valuable that can be.

So next time you see a competitor, STOP and think of a way you can make him or her into your companion in success!
I sincerely wish you good luck and happiness

Bill Boyd

The above article was produced by Bill Boyd as of one of the many training and mentoring projects that are part of the activity based training programs provided for free at: http://www.internetprofitmentor.com
Go there now take action! It’s free!
Over 12 hrs of videos for those Audio/Visual learners.

Tags: Bill Boyd, business, companion, competition, internetBill Boyd, business, companion, competition, internet

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It’s getting harder and harder to differentiate yourself from the competition these days. Especially when your competition is global, offer additional value through their stellar service, and look and sound similarly wonderful to your offering. Not to mention that the new buzz words - ‘adding value’ and ‘trusted advisor’ - are universal, making it even harder to distinguish what you bring to the party as being superior.

I recently read a quote by Daniel Pink in the Harvard Business Review 2/04 issue:

“Businesses are realizing that the only way to differentiate their goods and services in today’s over-stocked, materially abundant marketplace is to make their offerings transcendent - physically beautiful and emotionally compelling.” (page 21).
Interesting. What this says to me is that companies are having a difficult time closing sales, and still assume that buyers will buy either because of the product presentation or when they make an emotional decision. It also tells me that companies are still using their product to differentiate themselves. It’s a hard way to go.

WHY PEOPLE BUY

Buyers buy only when they need to solve a (business) problem. A purchased item might be their best solution, but they won’t buy until they understand and resolve all of the systems complications that the purchase itself will create.

In other words, your product would be considered as a solution only if - or when - it would fit efficiently within a buyer’s culture and won’t rock the boat. Just because it’s a great product, or because they need it/love it/want it, doesn’t mean the idiosyncratic systems within the buyer’s buying culture can make room for any of the changes that the purchase would entail.

Let me offer very simplistic example. Let’s say I was house hunting; I find the perfect house for my family and our space and use needs, but my husband hates it, the kids won’t be anywhere near their school or friends, and my dying mother would be an hour away rather than walking distance. I wouldn’t buy the house no matter how much I liked the house itself. Nothing to do with the house, or the agent, or my passion. Just that it wouldn’t fit into the system - or culture, if you will - that I live within. Purchasing is a systems-alignment decision, not a product decision.

THE SYSTEM OF BUYING DECISIONS

For those of you who have been reading my newsletters for years, or who have read any of my books, please be patient with me while I navigate this territory again:

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Buyers exist within a system. Whether it’s a woman buying a new brand of lipstick, a small company purchasing their first server, or a large company purchasing leadership training. All people, all groups, operate within systems (people, rules, relationships, initiatives, partnerships, beliefs, values, calendars) they have already set up. And systems don’t like to change. They just are the way they are. Are they healthy? Not necessarily. Are they effective? Not necessarily. Are they happy? Not necessarily. But they are stable because each element of the system exists as part of the fabric of the whole.

When change happens to a system, it faces chaos. Systems like stasis they like being just as they are, for good or bad. You’ve heard of one member of a couple going to AA to get sober, and the other partner tries to get them to drink again to stabilize the system that has been. When one part of a system shifts, the whole system shifts.

Your clients would prefer to keep doing what they are already doing. They also would prefer to operate optimally without any additional effort. But any change to an existent system will create its own form of chaos.

To begin with, the status quo doesn’t understand there is anything wrong. It all seems so normal to them - it’s always just been that way after all. So before the system decides to do something different, it first must understand that it needs to change. Then it needs to understand how to manage the change with what’s familiar so there is a minimum of disruption. If it can’t find a fix for the problem with familiar resources, it needs to seek an unfamiliar solution. And that runs a great risk of creating disruption.

WHY CHANGE?

How will the static system bring in or manage something foreign if it doesn’t know what might go wrong? There is a very simple reason why CRM implementations cost $5 extra to manage the people issues for every $1 of software: the team or group or company did not have the skills in place to help the different groups (users, managers, techies) collaborate, nor did they understand many of the technology- or people-issues that this new software would uncover. The time it takes buyers to understand and recognize all of the variables that need to be managed when something new enters their established culture is the length of the sales cycle. It has nothing to do with the product!

Until or unless a system (a family, a team, an individual, a company, a department.) knows how to recognize, understand, manage, and solve the disruption issues that will arise when they make a change (such as make a purchase or adopt a new idea, for example), they will not do anything different. Hence the length of the sales cycle.

To give you an idea of how difficult it is for systems to even recognize a problem and face the confusion of changing what always has been, let me offer a simple analogy: Let’s say you have a TV but only watch Channel 4. You’ve never changed channels. You know every show on every night. Some you like, some you don’t, some you watch but you don’t need a TV guide. It’s just familiar. Let’s say I come along and ask if you could turn the TV to Channel 10 for me. Channel 10?? You’ve never switched channels. You have no way of knowing if the TV will even do that! But you hesitantly turn to Channel 10, and see a show you’ve never heard of. So, what do you do? Do you sit down and watch everything on Channel 10? Or do you try to learn what’s new on Channel 10 that you would like better, and get rid of old familiar choices? How do you choose? Do you go back to Channel 4 because you’ve always done that? Do you give up everything you’ve ever watched because now you have a new resource?

My dad visited his parents every other week for 40 years. He drove an hour into New York from our house in Connecticut. He took the Triborough Bridge over to Manhatten, then drove through the City to Brooklyn over the Williamsburg Bridge. The trip took him 90 minutes when there was no traffic, and 2 hours with traffic. When I moved to New York, I realized that my grandparents lived moments from the TriBorough Bridge, and all my dad had to do was to drive straight over the bridge and get off two exists past the bridge - about a 70 minute trip door to door - with no traffic ever. When I told him to try it, he just smiled patiently, and said, “Thanks. Interesting. Maybe. But I’ve gotten used to doing the trip this way. I don’t want to change.”

WHY CHANGE IF IT AIN’T BROKEN?

Why is it so hard to understand that people do not buy ideas or products just because the products are ‘better’ than what they’ve already got? Or because they are packaged well? Or because they are ‘physically beautiful and emotionally compelling’?

People make purchases when they recognize what they are doing isn’t working AND they can’t fix the problem with any familiar fixes AND they learn how to manage the changes that making a purchase creates. Even a small change to an existent system will create some form of disruption. And systems (groups, teams, families, companies, people) don’t like disruption.

I’ve had clients go back to their old sales methods, even with proven 600% increases in sales that resulted from my training with them, because they didn’t want to manage the internal systems issues that were changing with the new sales methods - the supervision and management issues, the changes in compensation, the considerations that the six sigma folks had to add to their measurement systems.

While it all could have been managed easily, it certainly caused a measure of disruption that no one, outside of the sales group, wanted to deal with. But my training was great, the folks loved it, it produced significant results, the sales cycles were reduced, yadayada but my product excellence had nothing to do with the implementation of the changes in the system it sat within.

TRUE DIFFERENTIATION

The best way to differentiate yourself is to show your customer that you are willing and able to lead them through the learning process necessary to manage the changes that making a purchase will create.

Let’s assume that you have a great product, that you are a great salesperson, and that you and your company offer world-class service. The step that you need to take to increase sales and differentiate yourself from your competition is to offer buyers the help they need in order to:

* Take a good look around their environment to understand their systems and see if anything is missing (in the way of products, capabilities and communication);

* See how they can fix the problem with what’s there already;

* Understand how to manage the variables that will shift once a new solution is added to the system.

Whether the fix would involve a different vendor, or teams aligning themselves differently, or people being moved around, or partners being invited in to the mix, the buyer would have to figure it all out and come up with parameters for their unique solution before they bought your product.

So offer a product that is transcendent, beautiful, and compelling, just to maintain your position in the market. But, have that be your secondary activity. Use your unique position within your company - as the representative of your company - to create a true brand presence through your client relationship and as a true trusted advisor.

This will offer a vantage point for buyers that they haven’t had before as they’ve been too close to the problem. As a result, you will:

* be on the decision team (so long as you haven’t use the opportunity to push your product in any way);

* make the decision cycle much, much shorter;

* have differentiated yourself from your competition by being a true consultant/advisor;

* show your buyer you have the ability to collaborate with them through their decisions and implementation issues;

* reduce your presentations, proposals, travel costs.

* will also give the buyer the skills to be able to align all of the pieces that need to be managed prior to them making a purchase, so the buying decision cycle is shorter (from 3 years to 4 months, from one year to one month, etc.).

If you want to differentiate your product, use your unique role to help buyers make their purchasing decisions efficiently. This, above all else, will be your differentiator above and beyond any product you could offer. This will truly differentiate you from the rest of the marketplace.

Remember that until the buyer does all this, they won’t purchase a thing no matter how transcendent your product is.

About the Author:

sharon drew morgen is the author of NYTimes Best seller Selling with Integrity. She speaks, teaches and consults globally around her new sales model, Buying Facilitation.

http://www.newsalesparadigm.com
http://www.decisionconnection.com
512-457-0246
Morgen Facilitations, Inc.
Austin, TX

Tags: business, competition, marketing, salesbusiness, competition, marketing, sales

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